i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
