There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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