I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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