Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
be right there i have to get my cape
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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