Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
