just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
