i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
