I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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