I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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