i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
