i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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