Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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