Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
