Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Randomize
