I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
