Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
