well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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