My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
