Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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