Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
