I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
