just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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