I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
