I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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