K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
