can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
