i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
