This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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