finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
