you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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