I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
