I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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