my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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