Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I believe in your delicious
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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