Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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