please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
