I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
