So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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