At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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