How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
