drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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