Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
