from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
