well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
