I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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