Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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