this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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