She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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