he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
