The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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