Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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