Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
